I Can't Piss For You

Long ago in China, there was a monk called Ken. During his training years, he practiced in the monastery of Ta-hui, but despite his prodigious efforts, he had not attained enlightenment. One day Ken's master ordered him to carry a letter to the far-off land of Ch'ang-sha. The journey, roundtrip, could easily take half a year. The monk Ken thought, "I don't have forever to stay in this hall practicing! Who's got time to go on an errand like this?" He consulted one of his seniors, the monk Genjoza, about the matter.

Genjoza laughed when he heard Ken's predicament. "even while traveling you can still practice Zen! In fact, I'll come along with you"--and before long the two monks set out on their journey.

Then one day while the two were traveling, the younger monk suddenly broke into tears. "I have been practicing for many years, and I still haven't been able to attain anything. Now here I am roaming around the country on this trip; there's no way I am going to attain enlightenment this way," Ken lamented.

When he heard this, Genjoza, thrusting all his strength into his words, put himself at the junior monk's disposal: "I will take care of anything that I can take care of for you on this trip," he said. "But there are just five things that I cannot do in your place.

"I can't wear your clothes for you. I can't eat for you. I can't shit for you. I can't piss for you. And I can't carry your body around and live your life for you."

It is said that upon hearing these words, the monk Ken suddenly awakened from his deluded dream and attained a great enlightenment, a great satori.

---Novice to Master: An Ongoing Lesson in the Extent of My Own Stupidity, by Soko Morinaga Roshi---